Book Thoughts: The Time Machine by H.G. Wells

Holy wow. This is most definitely how you do a time travel/science fiction book right. My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations right now, but I'm going to try my best. If you haven't read it, you might not want to read on, because this blog is about to get fairly spoilerific. 

Narration is something that I'm always hyper-aware of when reading. I seem to be more drawn to stories in which the story is told from the perspective of someone listening to a story teller for the majority of the story. It always makes the story seem so much more lively. The tale being conveyed has purpose, there isn't need for awkward "Oh yeah, you're reading a story still. Hi, I'm breaking the fourth wall." moments which takes me out of the book, and the story teller is telling the story because they're very excited about the events or they must pay penance for their actions (see: The Rime of The Ancient Mariner by Samuel Coleridge) which ensures that I'm going to care about the story and that it will hold my attention. 

Oh, and this style also leaves the author free to kill off/do bad things to the story teller, whom is usually the main focus of excitement and mystery. The listener of the story can simply take over, as they were in the background conveying anyways. This is the way The Time Machine was narrated, which delighted me. 

I was initially disappointed with the time machine. The disappointment stemmed mostly from my love of Doctor Who. The time machine in the book was just a time machine, while the T.A.R.D.I.S is, as we know, is for Time and Relative Dimension in Space. What can you learn from travelling through time in the same fixed position? A surprising amount according to this book.

The book gave me a lot of pause about the concept of "Peace on Earth" and progress. We're in a constant struggle for something. Women's rights, LGBTQ rights, economic equality, and human equality in general. I've always thought that this was a noble struggle. One that I will not live to see the conclusion of. So I never thought to ask, "What then? What happens when there is equality?" As Frederick Douglass said, "If there is no struggle, there is no progress." Of course, in the year 802,701, there is still struggle. However, this isn't immediately evident and there was apparently equality at some point. 

So the Eloi are free to frolic and giggle. They appear unconcerned with most things, are amazed by fire, and have short attention spans. Whenever I give any thought to the distant future, I don't think of regression. I think of people utterly dependent on technology. I consider that human kind as we know it may not even exist in favor of AI (I got this notion from Skinned by Robin Wasserman and thought it seemed fairly plausible). Yet here they are. They don't even know what fire is. It's as if society has come full circle, which is further confirmed by the Time Traveler's voyage to the end of the Earth. This circle seems fairly likely. Maybe my imagination just hadn't stretched past all of the technology and equality to what would happen after. 

I still don't entirely buy the idea that technology, written language, and ambition would so profoundly just...die out. Especially when there is a museum...18 miles or so away from the Eloi that the Time Traveler found. And why is the museum mainly filled with items that we could just as easily see in a museum today? Apart from the machinery that seemed new to him, the natural history and archaeology sections seemed profoundly lacking once you take into account how many years in the future they are. Why have the super ancient things preserved, but not the slightly less ancient ones? 

And then there's the genetic mutations, evolution, social castes, and segregation that had to take place to create the distinct Elois and Morlocks. In many ways, this book was a commentary on the world as 1895, when it was published, knew it. It also, like most enduring books about time travel and the future, is a still-relevant commentary about society today. We're still struggling towards equality slowly. We're still facing a future that we can only guess at. And the funny thing is, it won't affect us. It will affect our descendants in ways that we can't possibly imagine. I'd love to think that the effect of equality would be nothing but positive, but that's an unrealistic expectation, of course. Nothing is so black and white. Hopefully, any future state of equality will be more beneficial than harmful. I guess that's really the best we can hope for. 

I've told many people about the importance I place on endings. I'm admittedly predisposed to unhappy endings (they're more interesting) but as long as the ending is fitting, I'm fairly happy. I'm not even sure why I was so happy with this ending. It's probably to do with the element of mystery. Where did he go?  Why didn't he return? Is he dead or imprisoned? It's up to the reader's imagination, which is wonderful. The book makes you consider new possibilities by leading you to its own conclusions, and then cuts you loose to come up with your own. 

Overall, this was just a wonderful read. 

Kill Your Darlings

I've been lost in my personal sea of summer music/shows/movies/books and forgot to keep updating this.

I also never told the world about my undying love of the movie Kill Your Darlings. To all of the people who ask, or will ask, about my favorite movie, this is the one. Subject to change, of course.

Now, I'm going to assume that about 90% of you haven't heard of this for quite a few reasons. It's about the lives of A group of Beat Generation poets, whom the majority of people don't know or care much about. Daniel Radcliffe played the main character, Allen Ginsberg, and he doesn't really light up on non-Harry Potter radars. There's quite a lot of gay-ness and sexuality in it, which society at large is dismally uncomfortable with. Aaaaand it wasn't marketed much or released in theatres widely. It's basically a hipster's wet dream. Oh god, am I a hipster? I should see a doctor about that.

So why is it worth your time? Honestly, I think the reasons that most people haven't seen it are enough. They're the things I love about the movie. Literature mixed with history mixed with actors I love and beautiful writing. I don't know if it's 100% historically accurate, but it feels like an extremely honest portrayal. It's intense, dramatic, and full of epic quotes. Here, read some.

• "No, we're not going to kill him. Even better. We're going to make sure nobody remembers him."
• "Another lover hits the universe. The circle is broken."
• "And like all lovers and sad people, I am a poet."
• Lucien Carr kissed a woman out of nowhere, so Ginsberg asked "Do you know her?" to which Carr responds, "No, and I don't plan to. She tasted like imported sophistication and and domestic cigarettes.

Just the right amount and variety of pretentiousness. Anyways, you should go watch the movie before I quote the entire thing at you.

Where can you find it? It's floating around somewhere online, I'm sure. Or, there's also the revolutionary notion that you could buy it and support great art. Of course, the actors and most of the people that brought the film to life probably aren't in need of more money. Unless the money benefits other things I'm not thinking of. Christ, I don't know where my movie money goes. It's all very confusing. But you wouldn't steal a tv! Unless you would, then I guess stealing movies is fine and it's all justified.

If you need me, I'll be contemplating the economics of movie buying and the ethical implications of strange anti-pirating commercials.

Book Thoughts: The Book Thief

I was reading a book the other day (not a surprise at all). I use ripped up Post-it notes as bookmarks pretty often. So, seeing one on my desk, I grabbed it to use. Then I noticed that it had writing on it. This was weird because I don't usually write on them.

It said: "I am sitting here in my bed, warm. I have water beside me and I've just finished reading the book in my lap. What gives me the right?". Reading that hit me really hard. I remember writing it. I had just finished reading The Book Thief (which I wholeheartedly recommend) and it had gotten to me.

So this is what I meant: Countless people throughout history have had terrible lives. They've had terrible things happen to them. They don't have enough food or clean water. They can't even think about sitting down and reading a book for entertainment. They don't have the money for the book or the time to read it. So what gives me the right?

The answer is nothing. Absolutely nothing gives me the right. Basically, life isn't fair. It's funny, no one tells you that life isn't fair when it's unfair in your favor. They only tell you that when it's the least helpful. You only hear that when you can very clearly see that for yourself.

The follow up questions would then be: What can I do about this? How can I make life a little more fair?

I don't think that the answer is wealth redistribution, or raising the minimum wage. I think that the government is attempting to treat the symptoms to no avail. The real problem starts with individuals. Other people having more means that I have to give up some of what I have. You know what? That is completely fine with me. But it's not fine with everyone, or even most people. I can't force others to change, and that's also fine. I'm just going to focus on what I can do to help others how I can.

If the government wants to do some real good, they should focus on making college education free for everyone and give people the skills they need to provide for themselves. Oh, and cut defense spending. But that's my own personal rant that doesn't really belong here.

The bookmark gave me the idea for Book Thoughts. Instead of writing book reviews, I'm going to start writing Book Thoughts blogs. Anyone can read a book; or a summary of one. I've heard the expression "Books belong to their readers." often. I both agree and disagree with this statement. However, I do think that multiple perspectives on books are interesting. I think that the way someone reads a book, or the thoughts that a book inspires in someone says a lot about them.

They shouldn't contain spoilers, although I will make sure to give a spoiler alert if they do. I would like to hear your recommendations, if you have any. Just keep in mind; I have upwards of 20 books that I've neglected reading so I might not get to them. If you have your own book thoughts on any of the books I post, feel free to post them in the comments. I would love to talk more about them. Happy reading!

Living in The Moment OR Personal Ramblings...

Growing up, adults were an enigma. To me, they seemed like solid, amorphous blob. Adults were almost all the same person to me. They were the “them” in the “us vs. them”. They were the ones that told us “No.” and “Eat your dinner” and “Be quiet” and that “The adults are talking”. The rift between us and them was clearly marked and maintained by both sides. The adults made sure to condescend, and the other kids made sure to call kids found conspiring with the adults teacher's pets and goody-two-shoes. 

The fact that, one day, I would be a “them” instead of an “us” never really occurred to me. Or rather, I wasn’t concerned about it. It was too far in the future. Life is long and once you’re an adult you’re basically dead. So why worry about it?

No, I’m 100% sure I never thought those exact things, but that was the underlying sentiment.

The thing about my life is that I set up moments. These moments always mean that my perspective will change. My turning points so far have been: going on a People to People trip, transferring to public school, losing my religion *guitar starts playing*, going to college early, driving, *redacted for personal reasons*, and turning 18. There are lots of smaller moments, but those are the big ones.

 I suppose that my moments are what people would call epiphanies. I don’t call them that because it’s a lame word.

But this is about my turning 18 moment. I knew that it would be a change for me in a your-life-will-never-be-the-same way. I didn't know how. It was when several looming truths all came together for me.

•       I've always had the thought that as I got older, life would continue to get better and more exciting. It was an empirically proven truth. I still want it to be true. However, I've also realized that life is more of a roller coaster than I would like it to be. Life doesn't get better and more exciting because we want it to. It gets better and more exciting because we make it happen.

•        People are boring. Maybe that’s why I like reading books so much. I can predict people’s secrets. They can be so painfully evident. I want the people you read about in books. The ones that you never know what they’ll say or do next. Or the ones that will do something embarrassing in public because they don’t care what anyone thinks of them. Where are the people that just live? Why can’t people just do things because they feel good? Why can’t people do things for the experience?

•       If you’re looking for some grand, ultimate meaning in your life, you’re probably not going to find it. You can’t live every day looking forward to the day when suddenly, your life matters. Some people just want to be a hero; whatever that means to them. Some people want to be remembered. I think we all want something, whether we admit it or not. But the meaning is in the little things, and the little things are the ones you’ll miss if you’re looking at tomorrow or yesterday instead.

•       Which brings me to yesterday. The past can be addictive. There are things there we will never have again: certain friends, loved ones, places, and memories. Remembering is not inherently bad, but when it becomes an obsession, or when you constantly feel the need to deny it, it becomes a problem.

•       Live your life today and make vague plans for tomorrow. That’s my goal. Do you really want to look  back in 5 years and remember obsessing over the past/future? I don’t.

       Living in the moment always gets a bad rap. I don’t know why. I think that living in the moment is potentially one of the most beautiful things you can do. It’s freedom. I think when people condemn “live in the moment” mindsets, they think of recklessness. People who live in the moment recklessly aren't living in the moment; they’re dying in the moment. There’s a good chance that they’re using it as an escape. Living in the moment just means enjoying where you’re at now. The future’s not here so I’m not going to concern myself with it too much.

I don’t know if I’m talking to you or myself anymore. I also don’t know what to make of all of this. I don’t think that I need to know right now and I don’t know that I need to make anything of it. Some things just are. 

Ads and Layout

I'm going to be blogging a lot more now that college is (almost) over. I should focus on studying hard for finals...but I'll probably just study a little and watch documentaries. Oops.

I've realized that I need to make some changes to my blog, and that's the real point of this post. If you don't have Adblock, you can see some incredibly ugly and poorly positioned advertisements on my blog right now.

I hate them. I think that they make the whole thing look desperate and cheap. They aren't even ads for useful things from what I've seen. So I'm either going to: 1. Take away most of them and heavily filter the content or 2. Take them down entirely.

I also was considering changing the overall layout. I love the color, but it screams winter to me.

So let me know in the comments, on Facebook, or wherever you can contact me what you think-- specifically about the overall design. Thanks!

Graveyard Meditations

A couple of days ago on my drive home from school I was struck with an overwhelming urge to be in a graveyard. So I made a detour and walked around alone, taking pictures. I cannot say exactly why I needed to do this but it felt right. It was a profoundly tranquil experience. I thought I'd share my trip and thoughts with whomsoever cares to read about them.

This was my initial view:

The first thing that really struck me were how many towers and oversized monuments there were. More importantly, why? I'm going to go ahead and state the obvious: these people are dead. We hardly know anything about their lives based on their gravestones. We know their names, when they lived, and maybe a few extra details about family. Yet these gravestones are here and they seem to scream their self importance. Were these more important people? Not in my mind they weren't. I do not like the idea of anyone being inherently more important than anyone else. Some say that death is the great equalizer but I'm not sure that it needs to be. Importance is, like many things, an illusion. 

I also looked closely a several markers. The growth on them is fascinating. The patterns, the discoloration of the stones, and the concept of life growing on a symbol of death were intriguing to me. 

Ms. Cora Belle's stone got my attention because her name is lovely. I thought she was worth a mention because I know a bit about the time in which she lived. She was born solidly within the Victorian Era. Which was British, but so influential as to affect America at the time as well. She then lived to age of 71, which was beyond the life expectancy of the time. She would have seen the Jazz Age in its entirety and the very beginning of the Great Depression with the stock market crash of October 1929. What did she think of the events around her? Growing up in a time where Victorian morality was in vogue, what did she think of the Jazz Age? Was she an old woman who clung to propriety and tradition, or was did she view the events with the gaze of modernity? Was she concerned about the stock market crash? Did she imagine how bad things would get? We don't know. We will probably never know because this is just a rock in the ground. And a rock meant to remind people of us often fails at even that. 

The internet and rapid development of technology will, I'm sure, have a huge impact on remembrance. Will there someday be sites with links to the old social media accounts of the dead? Will we scroll through their lives? Just because those sites exist, will anyone even care? Probably not any more than they do now. 

                                      

This made me laugh out loud. Why in the world would you make your grave marker a gigantic, uncomfortable bench? Did the family love him/her so much that they commissioned a large memorial? Did they just have money to blow? Did the person want attention brought to their grave based on originality points? Did they want people to reap some small enjoyment from their death by giving them a place to rest or meditate? I could not fathom what the true reason might be. I did sit on it. It made me feel uncomfortable in a couple of different ways.

This creeped me out because I first saw it out of the corner of my eye. And let's be honest, seeing a stray disembodied hand in a graveyard is creepy. There's probably not any significance to the fact that it is holding a rose. I would like to think there is though. Maybe it was chosen by a loved one. They wanted to "leave flowers" in a more permanent way. The rose will survive, not forever, but virtually so. The whole idea is so hopelessly beautiful and romantic it hurts. There's also the decidedly more pessimistic and cynical view that they would have chosen it to relieve them of their flower leaving duties. A kind of short cut. However, we will probably never know so we can imagine it however we want. We're all stories in the end, and that's part of the beauty of stories. 

I'll leave you with these last two pictures just because I find them peaceful. 

                                                 

This trip was highly meditative for me. I needed to think where no one would interrupt me with chatter. I thought a lot about death, as is expected on cemetery visits. I was struck by the impermanence of life and just how many people had lived. Our lives overlap and tangle but still: no one makes it out alive. We make a last ditch effort to be remembered. Some through flashy or unique stones. These attempts to survive are futile though, if no one is around to see them. Once the people who loved you most are gone, who else will see and care? It reminded me that I should live the life I have now. It's the only one I know that I have and I didn't buy the warranty. 

Existentialism

This is the moment of truth. I'm going to try and explain my existentialist thoughts. It's always been fairly difficult for me to do that. There's always been a level of confusion or miscommunication involved. I realized the reason for this in my Philosophy class last semester. It's because there is not a set definition of existentialism. Which is actually very fitting.

Existentialism is a somewhat broad topic. Some philosophers that have been described as existentialists would probably have rejected the title. They believe that "Existence precedes Essence" as opposed to the idea that "Essence precedes Existence". Woah, woah, woah. What? My first reaction to that was a blank stare. The height of lofty philosopher-speak.

"Essence precedes Existence" means that we are here for a purpose. It's a notion that's generally religious in nature, though it doesn't have to be. The purpose is often God or a higher power. God is the means and essence of our existence.

"Existence precedes Essence" is the idea that we infuse our own lives with meaning. We don't necessarily have a purpose. Therefore, we create purpose for ourselves. This sounds like a fairly secular idea, but again, it doesn't have to be. Soren Kierkegaard is a well known existentialist philosopher who attempted to synthesize Christianity and existentialist thought.

Have you ever sat back and been struck by the absurdity of the thought that we are a bunch of beings made up of cell configurations floating through space on what is essentially a big rock? I get that feeling a lot. In one of my classes the other day, my teacher was trying to make a point. She said "How many of you would fight over a big gold coin if I threw it in the center of the room?". Or something along those lines. I was so amused at that thought. You can make humans fight over a shiny piece of metal. I can honestly say that I wouldn't have been one of the people in that fight. I know that, had it been more than a hypothetical situation, many people would have. There's so much absurdity to it all. Which is, not coincidentally, another existentialist idea.

For me, existentialism is best represented through quotes. I used to be an avid viewer of the show Whose Line Is It Anyways. So after taking the philosophy class and realizing that the world is not black and white, but infinite shades of gray; I became fond of using the phrase "Everything's made up and the points don't matter." to describe life. Some more are:

• "I saw that my life was a vast glowing empty page and I could do anything I wanted." -Jack Kerouac
• "I love life. And I do not believe that my life serves a purpose. I do not believe that my life has any meaning." -Michelle Lara Lin
• "People have played on words and pretended to believe that refusing to grant a meaning to life necessarily leads to declaring that it is not worth living. In truth, there is no necessary common measure between these two judgments." -Albert Camus
• "Do not search for the meaning of life around you; it is self defined. If you are given the chance to make a choice, would you surrender the opportunity to your surroundings? It is often incorrect and will be far worse than whatever you could create for yourself. Be your own deciding factor." -Lawrence Beall
• "We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing." -Charles Bukowski

There are many more brilliant quotes on existentialism and I encourage you to look them up. I think that my favorite of these is Albert Camus's. Too often people view existentialism as inherently negative. I've never had people assume I'm depressed so fast as when I start talking about it. I would be lying if I told you that these ideas have never made me feel lost in the world and deeply conflicted. Not anymore. It really is one of the most beautiful and freeing ideas in the world. You can do anything. Absolutely anything. You give yourself purpose and meaning and you have freedom to define yourself. It's the antithesis to predestination and sitting around moaning about how unfair everything is. When you realize that everything's made up and the points don't matter, you realize that you're free to make your own rules. It gives you confidence because you're not answering to other people and trying to live up to their expectations. You're doing you.